Loved sky this afternoon! No need to use a filter for a natural sight of beauty!
Tonight, is so beautiful.
I looked out to see the sky turn different shades of colours. The colours of my mind bleed into another. The smell of my mum’s cooking still lingers in the air I breath yet I breath not alone.
Today I felt different though its a puzzle that cant be solved.
Stared at the floating granules of coco powder in my cup as its waiting to be mixed in.
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Feeling little love everyday
Leads my imagination have such wonders about you Laying down with me, holding me in your arms… But I know for sure that day when we collide it will end in a hurry and soon be over as if it was the fastest day of my life.
The journey will be worth such an experience its self.
I make my choice with heart not by mind. My heart chosen you.
If you’re curious I am crying while writing this though I shouldn’t be because I’m so grateful for having that chance of knowing you. Whatever the outcome is we will always be on good terms.
And your right there’s no harm in trying, we have a balanced connection that is rare to find like as if you were a puzzle I’d be the one filling in the gaps so we make each other a masterpiece.
For now let’s carry on exchanging hearts by text at 23:12.
I’ll sleep now the more days passed by the quicker and more nights I sleep longer your face appears when I open my eyes in the end you’d be laying next to me holding me in your arms.
xxxxxx
How awesome would it be to be albe to record dreams while you sleep?
I dream and often remember in the morning & forgotton by night.
All different types of dreams some are common some are unique.
I quite often dream about being naked, In love with a stranger,making passionate love.. im curious if the people in my dreams are real or made up in my head.
Or just simply a stranger I have passed on the streets.
Loved sky this afternoon! No need to use a filter for a natural sight of beauty!
Key to success-
There is no try, there’s only doing and not doing.
try leaves the option for failure, but fail should not be in our vocabulary because failure does not exist if you do something and don’t get the outcome as you expected. you still have achieved something whether was it something you wanted or not.
so if there is no try and there is no fail, what is there?
there is the present.
The past doesn’t exist the future is a illusion so all there is,is now.
if the past existed somewhere would be a 4yr of yourself running around. so no the past only exist in our brains of how we remember it.
the future is a projection of our minds which people predict sometimes can be quite accurate, but it is not real. There’s only a now.
so there is no fail and no try all you can do is something right now!
so what could you do now to not do that again?
whatever success you’ve had there’s been 10 to 100 failures behind it and it takes a lot of courage and energy not succeeding so many times.
basically if you did something and you didn’t get the outcome you expected rather saying “well fuck I guess I cant do this” you should just do it again and again and eventually you’d succeed with the outcome you wanted.
my point is, if you dont succeed immediately theres no reason to be discourage, why not learn from your mistakes and use that knowledge to succeed?
you made progress, you learnt something NOW there’s time to do something with that knowledge. The only way people stay stagnant is from learning something and do nothing with that learning. you don’t want to be stagnant you want to be moving, growing progressing that’s what it’s all about.
and you must forgive yourself.
Today’s topic is about Social Phobia.
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So there’s the good days & the bad days, right?
Never 100% confident I still have my ways like when avoiding someone giving out leaflets in the streets I’d get word vomit and instead of saying “No thank you” I would say “foeufnrbgcza” HAHA or I’d just simply prepare myself and put my earphones in.
one day it hit me like a bus I realized I can make a fool out of myself infront of stangers its not like im going to bump into them again or if they would remember me.
even when i’m nervous I tend to make mistakes and I apologize excessively but when think negativity it tends to go wrong, so my new motto is being Positive and organised before hand.
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I used to suffer from Separation anxiety/Agoraphobia in my head my parents and home was my only comfort.
I never left my home and I didn’t go to school which made a big impact on my learning and social life. I fear’d with situations that could lead to embarrassment,being judge negatively or being looked upon.
having a build up of stress before leaving the house with symptoms of Sweaty palms,Racing pulse,Feeling faint,Dry mouth,Shortness of breath. -Panic attacks
having these symptoms made me think of death and then my anxiety increased, I got into a habit of checking my pulse and taking deep breaths (try avoid that!).
also try working out why you get the panic attacks and do the opposite of the cause.
I had to make myself believe that its impossible to die from a panic attack. thinking positive helps a lot!
Getting out of this habit was a major step. My Mum who I admire she made sacrifices getting me home school’ed and counseling.
I got given some therapy homework to help, the most effective one for me was to take a couple of foot steps out in the garden a day and more I do, my mum would award me with a luxury.
took me 2 years to get out but eventually all the time and effort is worth it.
I regret so much but i’m thankful for it to be over in my younger years, because now i’m old enough to experience traveling and still carry on with my life. Once you get out of this habit you become stronger you learn from it and you know how to avoid it.
Please don’t feel threatened to ask me questions (:
Soo I was thinking beyond imagination as I do, about the purpose of life.
Are we created for human careers?
we get educated, we work,we get entertained by movies/tv/music ect..,we exercise,we eat, we make friends, we have sex , we find lovers, we make a home and we make our own families.
all these things are created by man kind. but making families is the purpose of life carrying on our DNA and human kind.
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Have you ever seen Kill Bill Volume 2? I watched it recently and a very interesting made up story was given.
Bill: tell Mommy about what happened to Emilio?
BB: ….I…killed him.
Bill: Emilio was her goldfish.
BB: Emilio was my ‘goldfiss’.
Bill: She came running into my room holding the fish in her hand, crying, “Daddy daddy, Emilio’s dead.” And I said, “Really, that’s so sad. How did he die?” And what did you say?
BB: I stepped on him.
Bill: Actually, young lady, the words you so strategically used were, “I accidentally stepped on him.” To which I queried, “Just how did your foot accidentally find its way into Emilio’s fishbowl?” And she said, “No, no, no. Emilio was on the carpet when I stepped on him.” Mmm. The plot thickens. “And just how did Emilio get on the carpet?” And Mommy, you would’ve been so proud of her. Heh. She didn’t lie, she said she took Emilio out of his bowl and put him on the carpet. And what was Emilio doing on the carpet?
BB: Flapping.
Bill: And then you stomped on him.
BB: Uh-huh.
Bill: And when you lifted up your foot what was Emilio doing then?
BB: Nothing.
Bill: He stopped flapping, didn’t he? She told me later, that the second she lifted up her foot and saw Emilio not flapping, she knew what she had done. Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet and a fish not flapping on the carpet. So powerful that even a four-year-old with no concept of life or death knew what it meant.
my point is i sort of believe this theory…
if you seen a dead body/ someone close to you’s body you’d understand…
when being in the same room as that person it feels like just a big hunk of meat in front of you, instantly knowing that person is dead.
The soul,the personality is the being not the body. some people believe the body is just a puppet for the soul to use in order for communication. A body without the soul has no purpose, no hope, no goals, no desires and personality.
Some people say our body is like a machine needing to be fixed when parts are broken, using medicine or having surgery,chemotherapy ect..
but honestly it’s all in our mind.
“The Mind”
mind gives us Color,Sound,Smell,Taste,Feel,Movement,Emotional reactions like knowing good from bad,appropriate and un-appropraite, understanding your likes and dislikes, experiencing fear,anger,furious,guilt,grieving,envy,jealousy,frustrated, anxious,lonely,vain,shy,confident,creative, happy,joy,secretive,relaxed,passionate,strong,love,loved. dreaming and day dreaming,fantasizing and thinking of ideas. understanding speech.
mind could be mistaken as a soul.
My love for you is a journey. It starts at Forever and ends at Never.
The earth is wonderful, everything has a place to stand, to grow, to live and to die.
At a young age I noticed how selfish our human kind are. We destroy.
I never understood…
Why do we only eat certain animals?
To me a pigs life has just as much value as your pet dog/cat.
but then also came to mind cows, chickens, pigs breed and raise in mass majorities quickly and cheaply.
I’m not a augmentative vegetarian I honestly dont mind what people eat.
I only care what goes into my body, there’s lots of reasons why I’m a Vegetarian so heres my story.
There’s health benefits,Vegetarians usually have lower cholesterol levels and people that eat meat their cholesterol levels are increased especially eating red meat.Vegetarian diets are also low in saturated fats.
Cholesterol and saturated fats are the major causes of heart disease.
Becoming a vegetarian protects the planet from pollution, prevent global warming and saves countless species from extinction.
raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined
Animals such as cows and sheep, also produce huge quantities of methane via burping and flatulence. Methane has 23 times the global warming potential of CO2.
Forests are being destroyed to make room for cattle to graze or to grow crops to feed livestock. When the trees are cut down or burned, the CO2 they store escapes back into the air.
I feel when something is killed it becomes a negative energy, why shall I put that into my body?
My opinion, my life.
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Blood.
When the word blood is mentioned, people think of violence and pain.
I think blood is beautiful it gives you life and makes you strong.
I’d give my blood.
Weather is Strange.
Felt like someone just turned the tap on me, the rain didn’t gradually get heavy,it just poured down out of the blue!
I have been living in England for a long period of time now.
I honestly cant wait to travel!
I find when traveling you realize that you don’t need much to survive. I have lots of things in my room and at my house but when I travel I live without them. Travelling is about facing you fears… Heights,Creepy crawlys and entering the big world by yourself, It will make you a bigger stronger person full of ideas and gives many stories to tell.
I have been in many different countries already, I know for a fact the different types of food is the best part for me, I love it, alot of cultures include my Pescetarian life style but with more flavor.Living in England food is very bland.
Best thing is about not worrying what you look like and getting up early and going to bed late will give more time to fit things in a day.
hopefully when I finish my travels across the world, I will look back on what I have done, seen and experienced in my life and be proud of myself.
Travelling the world for me is about learning, seeing, absorbing and enjoying everything that our earth has to offer us. most people believe we only live once, if this is true why not enjoy?
for certain:
